


Impeccable Taste

by SunlightSurvivor



Series: Sannami Week 2018 [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Embarrassing Situations, F/M, Humor, Romance, Sannami Week 2018, just silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunlightSurvivor/pseuds/SunlightSurvivor
Summary: Written for Sannami Week 2018.A shopping spree turns into a fashion disaster for Nami, and there's really only one person who can help her.





	Impeccable Taste

**Author's Note:**

> So I definitely realized it was the first day of Sannami Week today when I got home from work at 4 pm... 4 1/2 hours later, we've got this crazy monster of a piece. For now it's unedited, so beware. But more importantly enjoy!
> 
> Day One: Fashion

Sanji waited outside MonAmi’s Boutique front, near the street’s edge by the water. He had sat on the bench a little ways down, he’d discreetly peered into the shopfront window, and he had loitered all along the stretch of railing running between the street and canal, smoking way too many cigarettes. And still nothing.

Normally he’d get a little worried, if it wasn’t Nami he was waiting on, and it wasn’t the first island with a fashion district that the Straw Hats had seen in close to a month. But still. There was a point to which even he began to lose some of his near-infinite patience. 

Sanji exhaled a draft of smoke through his nostrils, lightly smiling at a couple of woman who glanced coyly in his direction. Oh, they were quite beautiful, in their wide summer hats and flowy, airy dresses. He could feel the itch in his feet to trot over to them and add a little charm to their day. 

But he was here on am important mission, and nothing would remove him from his post. 

“Dang, Sanji, you’re still here?” Usopp’s voice suddenly called out. “You were here even before we went for lunch!”

Sanji turned around, catching sight of Usopp, Chopper, and Robin walking down the street with various bags and boxes. Chopper, in Human-Point form, carried blank white bags with small containers and a few herbs. Robin carried a couple of clothing brand bags, and Usopp was weighed down with what could only be called a large sum of junk. 

“How much did you spend on that stuff, Usopp?” Sanji said, eyeing the bulk. 

“More than he should’ve,” Chopper said. 

“Nami’s going to positively murder him,” Robin said with a light giggle. Usopp frowned at his crewmates. 

“Speaking of the devil, where is she? Wasn’t she going to meet you here?” He asked. 

At the next moment, Sanji’s shoe was pressed into Usopp’s face. Not enough to knock him down, but enough to make him uncomfortable under the weight of his purchases. 

“Say that again,” Sanji growled. 

If there was a way to roll one’s eyes from underneath a shoe, then Usopp found it in that moment. 

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Anyway, can you go get her, at least? We’ve got to leave the island pretty soon,” he said. 

Sanji stared at him, gnawing on his cigarette. Then he peered closely at him, still balanced perfectly on one shiny foot. 

“Since when are you so punctual?” Sanji said with suspicion. Usopp spluttered and shoved Sanji’s foot off of him, glaring viciously. 

“Oh ha ha! Very funny! Like I can’t be responsible!” Usopp said. He stomped off, shouldering his mass of bags and boxes. Robin giggled again and Chopper sighed before walking off after him. He turned to Sanji before he left. 

“We’ll see you back at the Sunny!” 

Sanji waved them off, and finished his cigarette as they disappeared into the crowd. Something Usopp had mentioned did bother him, now that he thought about it. 

Even though Nami loved clothes, it was a bit odd she was spending so much time inside MonAmi’s. Maybe he should check on her?

A soft tinkling sound jingled as he opened the door and made his way inside. He moved around some gauzy curtains and came to the shop floor proper, where he froze and his mouth dropped open. 

He was in a lingerie shop. Nami had made him wait outside for over an hour. Outside a lingerie shop. 

It was obviously a very high-end boutique, with very spacious, sparse displays arranged in artful stages. Shoes, jewelry, and tasteful… accessories adorned the full-scale mannequins sporting the lingerie. One had a sheer, soft pink babydoll with faux fur covering lacy underwear that matched the delicate, spindly shoes. Another had leather boots that ran the entire length of the leg and to which Sanji was pretty sure laced right into the leather garter belt on the mannequin’s unnaturally skinny waist. 

Oh what Nami would look like in those. 

The blood rushed through his veins, and he could feel the start of a silly grin pulling at his mouth corners. A blush burned across his face. 

“Can I help you, sir?” A slightly haughty voice said. The single attendant of the store emerged from the back area. She looked Sanji up and down, obviously wary of his presence in the store. 

“Ah, forgive me the intrusion, but I’ve been waiting outside for a while now and I just wanted—“ He began, running his hand through the hair at the back of his head. The attendant’s demeanor instantly changed, and she visibly relaxed. 

“Oh! You’re the boyfriend!” She sighed. 

“’B-Boyfriend’?” Sanji gulped. Before he could say anything else, the attendant grabbed his arm and ushered him further into the store, chattering away. 

“Oh, don’t worry sweetie, I know how intimidating one of these stores can be—especially when your girlfriend brings you here! But don’t you worry, I guarantee you’ll both leave here happy today!”

Sanji’s mind whirred at the possibility.

“I saw you standing outside for so long—I’ll be honest, I thought you were a creeper at first—but now I understand you’ve been an awfully patient man, and I think that sort of boyfriend deserves a little treat!” She said, giving Sanji a wink. 

He gaped at her, unable to respond. 

They finally made their way to the back where the large changing rooms were hidden behind large velvet curtains. A chic, circular sitting ottoman sat in the middle of the room, with multiple three-way mirrors propped up along the sides. 

“Oh miss! Your doting, ever-patient boyfriend is here!” The attendant called. Nami poked her head out of one of the changing areas. 

“’Boyfriend’? What are you talk—Augh! Sanji!” 

Nami squawked and instantly retreated back behind the curtain as soon as she made eye contact with the cook. Sanji stood stock still, in shock. The attendant merely laughed, as though she had seen it all before. 

“Now, now, I know you probably wanted to surprise him later, but he’s been waiting a terribly long time, and so why not give him a little sneak peek, yeah?” She said. 

“I don’t--!” Nami started, but jingling of the front door and the attendant quickly cut her off. 

“Oh excuse me, you two, I’ll be right back,” she said. She lightly elbowed Sanji as she walked by, and whispered, “she seems like the type who could use a little teasing, yeah?”

Sanji stared at her while she left, wondering at the irony of finding the best wingwoman the world had to offer in a lingerie boutique of all places. 

“Wait! He’s not my—“ 

“She’s gone, Nami.” 

A terse silence fell over the room. Nami finally broke it. 

“What are you doing in here, Sanji?” She whispered harshly. 

“No need to be like that, Nami-san. I am the ever-patient boyfriend, after all,” Sanji said. He grinned when Nami poked her head back out, glaring at him. 

“What did you tell her? Why does she think that?” She said. Her tone cut into him a little, but Sanji shrugged it off. 

“I didn’t get a word in edge-wise. I just told her I’d been waiting outside for the past hour and—“  
“An hour? Really?” Nami said. 

“Yeah. Even Usopp, Chopper, and Robin came back from lunch and headed off to the Sunny,” he replied. 

“Shit, I didn’t even realize,” Nami said. She looked down the side for a moment before glancing back up at him. “Okay, fine. Just let me get changed and we can go.” 

“No sneak peek?” Sanji said, raising his eyebrow at her hopefully. 

Nami just stared at him, unamused. 

She dipped back into the changing room while Sanji laughed and listened to the loud exchanges in the front room. The other customer was obviously incredibly needy, ordering the poor attendant here and there in a loud, demanding voice. She appeared to be displeased with everything. A few minutes of this went by before Sanji looked back to Nami’s dressing nook. 

“Ah… Nami?” He asked. 

“I’m fine. I’m—um—I’m fine. Just a second,” she hissed. There was a weird tone to her voice that made Sanji a little worried. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

“Yes!” She said. “I just—one second, hang on…”

The attendant dipped for one harried moment, looking a bit flustered. “Are you two okay? Okay. Good!” She disappeared again. 

At the sound of the woman’s voice, Nami’s head appeared again, looking hopefully. 

“Where did she go?” She said.

Sanji looked up at her from his seat on the center ottoman. A blush covered her face, and she looked a bit annoyed. The prattling of the other customer reverberated into the dressing room. 

“You sure everything’s okay?” Sanji said. He leaned forward, studying her face. She reddened at his look. “The other’s are waiting for us, you know. Didn’t you want to leave before dinnertime, too?” 

Nami made an annoyed face before disappearing. A moment passed before Sanji thought he heard her voice in a hushed whisper. He got up and moved closer to the curtain. 

“What was that, Nami?” 

“I said come here!” She hissed. “…I need your help.”

Sanji blanched and dipped his head closer. 

“I’m sorry—what?” He said. 

“…I’m stuck,” she murmured. 

“Stuck…?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Nami snarled. 

She whipped out her hand and dragged Sanji in behind the curtain into the dressing nook. An enormous mirror leaned against the wall, and a large, soft bench seat was loaded with garments that Nami had, presumably, tried on during her time in the boutique. But Sanji’s eyes were instantly drawn to Nami, who was wearing her normal jeans and sandals, but held her hands up to her breasts that were covered in some sort of lacy, corset-y, frilly…brassiere sort of thing. 

Her face was lit up with shame. 

“It’s stuck,” she said. “I can’t get it unzipped in the back.” 

Sanji tried not to ogle her, but he was having a hard time keeping any clean thought in his head. 

“Oh! I could—ah—go get the attendant for you,” he said, trying to jolt some curtesy into his mind. 

“No, really, all you need to do is unzip it,” Nami said, turned around. Sanji gazed at her smooth back, wanting to touch it and feel the softness of her skin.

“But what if she comes back and finds me in here?” He said. 

“Just get me out of this damn thing!” Nami snapped. 

Sanji didn’t need to be told twice. It took all of his willpower not to let the phrase bring a nosebleed to his sinuses. Although it would be a nice thought… for later. 

He reached for the zipper, a tiny, hidden little thing nestled in the frills and lace along the material at her spine. He grabbed at it and pulled, thinking it was just out of Nami’s reach. But the zipper slid out of his grasp. He took it again and pulled, a little harder this time. It didn’t move. 

“Wow, it really is stuck,” he said. 

“You can’t get it?” Nami said, worry seeping into her voice. 

“I can get it, I can get it,” Sanji said. He yanked at the zipper from different angles, grabbing parts of the brassiere’s material and pulling at it, this way and that. Nothing worked. Sanji huffed, trying all he could without ripping any of the material. 

“This is seriously stuck,” he said. “I don’t know if it’s even possible to unzip at this point.”

“Fuck,” Nami cursed. 

“I could go ask the attendant for scissors,” Sanji said. A nasty call from the obnoxious customer sounded from the other room. 

“No!” Nami said. “At this point I just want out of this thing!” 

“Ah… Nami…?” 

“Just rip it!” 

Sanji’s vision went a little fuzzy as the blood left his head. The fact that Nami was asking him to literally rip her clothes off was either the greatest dream in the world, or was soon to be the worst nightmare he could imagine. For now, at least, all he could do was gulp and shakily grab at the material nearest the zipper and try and rend it. It was stretchy and surprisingly resilient. He pulled and tugged, wrenched and twisted, but nothing came free. 

Finally Nami turned around in exasperation, batting his hands away. 

“This is useless!” She said. 

“Sorry,” Sanji said. His ego was wounded a bit. By a stupid, frilly bra. 

“Here, help me,” Nami said. She grabbed some material at the front of the bra and held it away from a laced-up, gauzy part. “Hold this.”

Sanji stared at her.

“C’mon, hold this part! I’m going to unlace it,” Nami said. Sanji licked his lips and felt his throat go dry. 

“Uh, you realize that…”

“Just do it!” Nami said. She was still red with embarrassment, and on the near edge of hysteria. 

Sanji instantly gripped the material she held out for him, lightly holding it away from the center as Nami began to unlace and unweave the strange pattern of frilly gauze. Each pass was slow and obnoxious, but also revealed a tantalizing amount of cleavage the further along she went. Sanji tried his hardest to be respectful and not stare at the smooth, smooth skin. 

They were getting close to the end, and Nami was visibly calmer at the prospect of getting out of the clothing-trap she was stuck in. A sudden, loud noise banged right outside the dressing nook, spooking both cook and navigator. The dressing nook curtain was wrenched open, revealing the obnoxious customer snarling about how someone was using her favorite dressing room.

Sanji had been holding himself so tense and still for so long that the surprise caused his limbs to flail harder than they normally would—resulting in a harsh rip and tearing of the cloth in his hands. 

At the sudden exposure, Nami yelped and grabbed at the nearest thing to cover herself with—the nearest thing being Sanji’s head. His shocked shout was muffled by Nami’s ample breasts. 

In between Nami’s outraged snarl, the customer’s terrible shrieking, and the attendant’s desperate pleas, Sanji somehow found a soft, silent world that seemed to last an eternity in its divinity and yet not nearly long enough for his liking. Miraculously, he was too surprised to even get a nose bleed. 

Throughout the chaos, the attendant managed to drive off the other customer, and apologized profusely to Nami. The customer’s scratchy “but what were they even doing in there together?!” faded as she was pushed through the front door. Nami emerged from the back, fully clothed now, silent and flushed, with Sanji looking dazed beside her. 

“I’m so sorry about, really,” the attendant said. “Obviously there will be no cost to you for the piece that was damaged—and I’ll even throw in a discount for anything you want!”

Not even the sound of a deal could shake her from her silence. 

A small smile lit up her face. “But… what were you two doing in there?” Insinuation lilted her voice. 

“I was stuck!” Nami spat out, glaring at the offending garment sitting on the counter next to the cash register. The attendant picked up the ruined piece, ruminating on it. 

“Yeah. I’ll be honest, you’re not the first,” she said. “It’s not the best of pieces.” 

“I’m just glad to be out of it,” Nami muttered. 

“I’m sure your boyfriend is glad of that, too,” the attendant said. 

Nami’s blush deepened. Sanji waited for the inevitable outburst, slowly coming back to reality. A moment passed before he finally heard her response, her a voice soft and low whisper:

“Well, he does have impeccable taste.”

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was inspired by a real-life experience I had getting stuck in a piece of clothing while trying it on at the store! XD Granted I just had an employee cut me out with scissors, but still one of the more embarrassing moments of my life.


End file.
